One year on from the BIG op!

Today marks one year since Paul had his major operation to debulk his tumour (there is a technical term but the name escapes me!).  It seems madness that it was a year ago but it feels so very good looking back and reflecting on all we have been through and where we are now.

The day was an emotional one as when we arrived I had expected to stay with Paul until he went down to surgery (as I had done in the October for his biopsy) but I was told by a nurse I would have to leave and was then asked to sit out in reception (Paul had gone to have his preparation shower).  I was understandably upset as this had not happened in October and Paul was on the same ward and this was a much bigger operation.  Paul was also upset as I had been told this while he was in the shower and neither of us had had time to prepare ourselves.  Another nurse saw us in the corridor upset and let us back onto the ward and closed the curtains round us so we had a minute.

I left Paul and went home to await news.  The surgeon (who was a really lovely down to earth chap) came to see Paul very shortly after I left and could see how upset Paul was.  He offered to ring me as soon as surgery was over, and Paul agreed to this.

By 5pm that night I received a call from Claire our specialist nurse, who had Marco (Paul's surgeon) on the line to speak with me.  He sounded exhausted and informed me that Paul's tumour had progressed in the month between the biopsy and was larger than he had expected.  He had done his best to remove as much as possible.  Claire came back on the phone and told me Paul was in recovery and would understandably be very groggy for the rest of the evening.  There was no point in us visiting him as he would probably not be back on the ward until later.  She also told me that Paul would not be told about the tumour growth until the next day, so that he would be in a fit state to take it in.  This felt very odd as I now knew more than Paul and I knew he would ring later.

When Paul rang that evening he sounded not too bad.  He asked me what Marco had said to me and I just asked him what he had said to him, luckily he answered me and never asked me again.  I didn't want to have to lie to him.

I visited Paul on Saturday afternoon and he looked remarkably well for someone who had had a major operation the previous day.  He had an epidural in for the pain, two drains in for the fluid to come out and of course a catheter.  Our walk up the corridor was very interesting.

We were told Paul would be in hospital 5-7 days.  The op happened on the Friday and by Monday night we were bringing him home.  I asked the nurse if she was sure he should be leaving, she said he was fine.

Paul made an exceptional recovery (he may not say the same) but within a couple of weeks he was doing things he probably shouldn't have been doing.  One month later he started chemo, but that's will be another blog.

Today, one year on has been a very different day so far.  We took Ethan to a Topsy and Tim book signing at a local pre-school.  Jean Adamson lives in one of the villages near us.  Ethan is now the proud owner of two signed books.  Paul and my Dad have just painted the new fence panels which will hopefully go up at some point next week.  I have sorted through some bits and pieces to go to the charity shop and now my boys are having a well deserved afternoon nap.

Another two months nearly up!

This coming Thursday we will travel once again to Papworth for Paul to have an x-ray and see the oncologist.  This time we are both really hoping we get a good, stable result as this will then mean we can look forward to Christmas knowing Paul can enjoy it.  Last year he started chemo just before Christmas and it made him so sick for the next couple of days (he ended up back in hospital overnight) that come Christmas Day he was absolutely exhausted and could hardly stay awake or eat anything.  I know he looks back and knows it was a horrible Christmas.

The last 2 months seem to have flown by.  We had a weekend away at the seaside and a week at Center Parcs which were both brilliant.  We have another holiday booked to Winter Wonderland at the beginning of December to look forward too.

The 4th December will see our little boy turn 3!  I have no idea where the years have gone.  It only seems 5 minutes we were bringing him home from hospital.  An experience we had hoped to repeat by the time I turned 38 last week but unfortunately mesothelioma has changed our life plans and now we know Ethan will unfortunately be an only child.  I don't think about it too much else I would break down but we are so very lucky to have him and we thank our lucky stars ever day that we do.

In January Ethan will start at pre-school which we hope he will enjoy.  We know he is very ready as he loves being with other children and is a very friendly little chap.  His big adventure into the world will begin.  I just hope it doesn't go by too fast for us.

Our poor little cat Honey had to have blood tests the other week as she had lost weight at her yearly check.  Although a month later she hasn't lost any more the vets wanted to check to see if there was any problems.  The blood results showed elevated levels to do with her liver and some muscle wastage value too (far too complicated for me to understand).  She is having an ultrasound of her tummy on Wednesday to see if they can find anything.  The vet said to me if they find anything they will talk about biopsy but as its a very invasive procedure for a cat it may not be worth it.  I know if they find something I will be very very sad as we have know Honey since the day she was born and she is now 7 and a half.  She has become part of the family.

Paul's operation last week went well and he is happy with the results so far.  When they brought him back to the ward after he had woken up I said to the nurse I was pleased I hadn't seen him straight after his operations last year.  It wasn't that nice to see him really sleepy and not with it.  He seemed to turn a corner quite quickly though and we left the hospital at about 4pm.

So this week we start with the scanxiety of with it/won't it have started to grown again.  I pray we can at least get through Christmas and into the new year before any other treatments have to be thought about.

I will try to update you all on Thursday evening xx